Grief, Identity, & Being Seen in our Gifts: Body of Wisdom, Worm Moon

A lot of time has passed since I've written to you. I've missed it. I needed to retreat into myself and get re-rooted into a home life after our big housing upheaval last year.

Sometimes it feels hard to know how to show up or know what to say. I think a big part of it is because I'm typing into a screen rather than seeing and feeling a human in front of me. That plus there's just so much going on - sometimes what I have to say or offer seems to pale in comparison to what seems to be needed in the world.

I know I am not the only one who has struggled with a sense of self - What is my medicine? What is my role here?

From the outside, it may seem like my own medicine is clear to me. I help people, I have these offerings. Over time, I have felt more whole and more myself in how I show up, but especially when it's time to grow, the self-doubt can come in hard.

A grief altar I built this morning on my bedroom window sill.

In the grief altar I built this morning, you'll see a piece of art I made recently in a moment of clarity when I felt connected to the medicine I bring. It names my roles:

Tender, Teacher, Human-Land Relationship Facilitator, Mother, Sibling, Dreamer, Trust-Journeyer, Relational Anchor, Body Listener, Sound Painter, Co-Creator

When I use these names instead of Somatic Coach or CranioSacral Therapist or Circle Facilitator, there's an ancestral connected-to-spirit feeling I get. These names might not ring as recognizable and professional as the professional titles, but I want to use them more often.

I painted this while sitting with my friend talking and making art together. She is a friend but also someone older than me who I look up to, an elder. When I read her these names, she closed her eyes and said "Yes. I can feel every one of those in you." 

Thankfully, she among others in my life now and past, will sometimes reflect to me who I am, what I bring, why they value me, why I am needed.

I believe that when I look at this screen and I write to you, one of the reasons it can be hard to trust my own authentic medicine, and one of the reasons why I can struggle with a sense of self, is because it doesn't really exist without someone else being there to receive and reflect it. I don't say this in a co-dependent way, but in an interdependent way because our ancestors lived in community in which the expression for the appreciation of the unique value of living beings was woven into ritual and daily life.

Glimpses of gifts others have offered me while weaving in community. The green scarf was woven with yarn used in a dreamweaving ritual a year ago. Join us at Sacred Kin on Tuesday for this year's Community Dreamweaving Circle.

In the foreword of Sobonfu E. Somé's book Welcoming Spirit Home, Brooke Medicine Eagle writes of what a child's entrance into the world and a childhood can be like:

"Her elders watch her and give her a tantalizing array of experiences and choices, so that her natural tendencies and gifts begin to show themselves. They look deeply into her spirit with their wise, Spirit-filled eyes. What she loves and who she is becomes clearly evident, and the uniqueness of her contribution to the people is seen and named and nurtured. The only code of the village is to support the highest intention and finest being of each person. Spirit is honored in the child and in all things. She becomes masterful at what she loves, and offers a great gift to her people, from her heart through her hands."



What do you feel after reading this?

For me, there is hope, and there is grief. A lot of grief, for inadequate communal reflection, recognition, and nurturing of our individual innate gifts is truly one of the greatest losses, and I see it impacting people, our communities human and more than human, in so many ways.

We need to cry, we need to grieve, in order to come back to life. When I feel the depths of what has been lost, I am able to see the opportunities in my life to build anew. To reclaim interdependence, intimate relationship, community, reciprocity of our gorgeous gifts, sovereignty within myself and my own body, and so much more.

I look forward to what is to come - more of me. And hopefully more of you too.

Grief & Joy work in particular is calling me in. This month I'll be starting Refuge: A Monthly Online Community Practice for Grief & Joy. This practice is a revival of the communal ritual of grieving, providing a container and circle of support for letting move what often otherwise stays suppressed. The suppression also suppresses our joy and vitality.

If grieving feels intimidating or hard for you, know that this container has been designed with titration and self-care in mind. Meaning, you can move at your own pace. Even small dips into the river of grief have a big impact.

Invitations into Offerings

Here are some opportunities for our paths to cross:

Group Experiences:

Refuge: A Monthly Online Community Practice for Grief & Joy

3/3 Sacred Kin Circle: Community Dreamweaving

3/17 Sacred Kin Circle: Spring Equinox Celebration

7/26 Eco-Somatic Retreat weaving Eco-Somatics and Song - more info coming soon

2026 Grief & Joy Eco-Somatic Retreats - more info coming soon

1:1 Experiences:

1:1 Somatic Coaching - Building safety, trust, & resilience in relationship with body wisdom

1:1 Somatic CranioSacral Therapy - Attuned touch for regulation, release, & early developmental repair

1:1 Eco-Somatic Retreats - individualized experiences designed to connect you with the healing power of nature, and nature within

Self-Led:

Somatic Journey Toolkit - Me in your pocket for self-paced embodied learning and healing

With Love,

Nicole